Q&A Is It Okay That I Now Want to End Our Marriage and Move On?

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Question: 

We're a little over 2 years post D-Day. I put my own recovery first with things like Harboring Hope and taking advantage of all the resources I had available to me. My wife, on the other hand, hasn't done any sort of self-reflective work. I haven't issued an ultimatum, but she knows where I stand on the importance of recovery work and that there's really no chance with me without it, no matter how remorseful or how loving she is. I've given her time and I've given her a real opportunity to take hold of a second chance and she just won't take any initiative. As much as I hate the thought of divorce - the pain it will bring us all including our kids, and the financial hardship it will cause - I welcome the idea of resolution and closing such an awful, painful chapter in my life. She's made me live in limbo and uncertainty and without safety for too long. The truth is, even if she jumped headfirst into recovery work right now, I don't think I could recommit to someone who betrayed me so deeply and treated me so cruelly during that period then let me bleed out for so long afterward. I'm exhausted and quite frankly, a little resentful that I'm the only one that has fought for us and our marriage. Is it okay that I now want to end our marriage and move on?

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