I am a father of three girls ages 12, 11 and 4. The two oldest are from my first marriage. My D-Day was October 2017 with my current spouse of 9 years and we began to work on reconciliation. About a year and a half later she began to attend a faith based 12 step programs and began to shut me out. Six weeks ago she said she wanted a divorce and I have since found out she has a new affair partner she met at this group. She has moved out but has made my 12 year old aware of the relationship and has now taken my 4 year old to visit the affair partner. I think she is dealing with deep shame and just wants to hit the reset button on life. What can I do to protect my children and at the same time not allow her actions to manipulate and control me?