Q&A How Do I Convince My Husband That It Is Time to Tell Our Son?

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Question: 

My husband had an 18-year emotional affair with a co-worker with whom he wanted to have sex, but she did not. She liked flirting, being wined and dined, and being given bigger and better gifts year after year, but she never wanted to have sex. Sex was the carrot that she kept constantly out of reach. To his great shame, my husband is now beginning to accept that he was duped. This acceptance comes after watching your previous video answer of Mar. 13th (Is it possible they never had sex?) and from talking with a counselor. I am struggling with paranoia, worrying that my husband will never fully let his love for the AP go and will always see her as the better woman- the mythical unattainable glorified object of his affection. However, my bigger concern is how to talk to my son. My son is 18 and extremely perceptive. He knows something is wrong, but my husband is not yet ready to tell him. I recently asked my son how he was doing and he said, “You never tell me anything about your life. Why should I tell you about mine?” This hurts. I would like to be honest with my son. I don’t think my daughter needs to know right away; she is 15 and I believe we should wait to tell her. But I think my son is ready. How do I convince my husband that it is time to tell our son?

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