How do we help our teenage and adult children regain trust as we work through this process and potentially reconcile? They have been deeply hurt with the affair and are protective of me (the betrayed) against their stepfather. I am trying to be honest with them about our progress as my husband and I are trying to figure all this out but they are very angry and live out of state so have not been part of the day to day work we have done. With them home for the holidays I fear all the work we have will be undone. We are still at such a fragile stage I don't know what to do without seeming like I am choosing one over the other. My heart is breaking.