What can I do to strengthen my self-image apart from the affirmation of my husband? I am 14 months post discovery of a 6 month deeply emotional and sexual affair overseas and occasional pornography use. We have done EMS and I finished Harboring Hope about 1 month ago. My husband and I are still separated, but are both working hard on our individual recovery with the hopes that one day we can work on the recovery of our marriage again EMS was very helpful, but I'm not sure we were quite ready back in February for the reconciliation portions towards the end. Anyway, we live in a beach town and every time I go to the beach with my family, I get very triggered and down myself. I am told that I am thin and attractive, but I know my body which has borne children is nothing like the college girls on the beach. How can I fight these thoughts and enjoy the time with my family?