Q&A Why Can't I Get past the Feeling That He Enjoyed the Sex with the Affair Partner?

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I’m not sure if this is my issue or his. Things can be going really great and then I’ll get triggered about something that will have me thinking about the sex he had with her. During these 16 months of recovery he’s run the gament of saying it was phenomenal sex to saying he had erection issues when with her. He tends to shut down when the conversation comes up and while rationally I think it’s the guilt speaking, emotionally I feel like he falls silent to not say anything so the truth won’t hurt me. He has said he doesn’t like to talk about his erection issues because they were a malfunction in him but I see that a positive that his body was telling him this was wrong. Why can’t he see it that way, why does he think something was wrong with him for not having elections? Do I need to get over it or does he have more work to do?



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