I’m really struggling with healing. I am the betrayed spouse. We’ve been married for 37 years. My husband was in a emotional and physical relationship with his secretary for 7-8 years. She was also married. We have pieced together a time line based on life events but don’t have definitive dates. She ended it but he couldn’t let go. He continued to call her for years afterward. He admits that he didn’t want it to end. I didn’t find out the truth until 2 years ago. Over 20 years had gone by at that point. Yes, I suspected and knew instinctively he was cheating. I asked him straight up if he was cheating more than once. Over the years I dropped many hints hoping to have my suspicions confirmed. Finally he admitted to everything. He did not disclose. I dragged it out of him. I also discovered 2 other situations where he pursued women but the women did not reciprocate. He is now remorseful. He is tortured by the pain his choices have caused both of us. He is the model of a man that wants restoration. He wants nothing more than to forget the whole nightmare and move on. I’m not sure that can happen for me. We have done Hope for Healing and Harboring Hope. We are beginning EMS Online soon. This is a last ditch effort for me. I just can’t get past the ugly emotions that this mess has caused. I’m feeling pressure to be beyond all of this by now. You guys say 18-24 months is a reasonable amount of time to heal. For me it’s not. Yes, I’ve made progress in healing. But I still flood and have very dark times. I can’t seem to forgive completely or rid myself of bitterness and resentment. God knows I’m working at it every single day. Am I abnormal?