Q&A Am I Sabotaging Our Relationship Because I'm Not Getting What I Want?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


Rick, I discovered my husband's 3 year affair with a young woman when she showed up at our home, and he literally fled the house instead of facing the situation. He returned home the next day and tried to pretend that nothing had happened. He reluctantly attended counselling, and better suppresses his angry outbursts, but overall did not seem to be very successful at looking inward. He says he is sorry only when I bring up my hurt, but I don't hear empathy in his words and he generally acts like everything's normal. We now basically live like roommates, which he says he is fine with because he thinks we will return to a romantic relationship with time. He says he doesn't like feeling sad and sees emotional vulnerability as a weakness - but sincere vulnerability, empathy and sadness is what I am looking for from him. I have told him that without this, I don't see a future for us. Am I sabotaging our hopes for recovery because I am not able to get what I want? Why doesn't his 'good enough' feel like enough for me to heal? Thank you for any guidance you can provide.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas