Q&A How Does a Betrayed Spouse Deal with Lying by Omission?

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D-Day was 7/4/14. After starting counseling and my husband sharing with me an email to his AP 9/29/14 (and swearing going forward he would always tell me if there was any other contact) a DO NOT CONTACT EMAIL (I found out he called her 2 hours prior to sending the email... He claims he doesn't remember what they talked about and it's making me crazy not knowing... I wonder if he told her he was FORCED TO SEND THE EMAIL?! Her response back 2 days later (after he told me she was devastated and they had such a DEEP CONNECTION AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE IN LOVE- break my heart more!)... Her response was OK I UNDERSTAND GOOD LUCK. I don't see how they could have such a deep relationship - he sends her a DNC EMAIL - she's so traumatized she needed counseling (he paid for!!! She didn't show up for months)... And her response is 2 sentences long... It doesn't add up and since I don't know what was said the day he sent the email I will always be bothered by what they talked about. Again he said he doesn't remember but it doesn't add up. I'm Wondering if he just doesn't want to hurt me AND the AP...MAYBE he told her he was forced to send it? Since then I found HE emailed her 5 weeks later (about a website they were working on) and then after I told him I was giving him the opportunity to be honest and tell me about any other contact he fessed up to HER EMAILING him a week ago asking about the "website". HE claims he told her he couldn't help and not to contact him again but he didn't tell me and then deleted it completely so I could never see it. Our counselor told him it was lying by omission and I'm not sure how I feel about it all... I don't trust and this was the one thing he COULD HAVE DONE TO BUILD TRUST... But claims I'd have freaked out based on my previous attitude. What are your thoughts?



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