Q&A Is it Possible that I Won't Recover?

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I seem to be unable to move forward through my husband's infidelity and I still remain stuck in anger and resentment after two years. I have read your article on grieving the loss, and I feel that grieving is almost all I do! I have not isolated, as I have taken Harboring Hope and have a friend from HH that I speak with each Monday night without fail. We support each other. I also have a Stephen minister from church who sits and listens and does not give advice. She is an older woman and a loving, safe vessel for me to talk about it. I have a therapist that I saw every week for a while. He wasn't much help. Basically, he told me to just quit thinking about it. I understand the grief process and I am attending a recovery group twice a month (BAN). In spite of the past two years of all of the above, plus almost daily bouts of crying out to God, praying, journaling, etc., I am still angry, resentful and not able to "get over it". I need to know these things:

1. Does the fact that I periodically keep getting small bits of new information from the AP -- facts that my spouse has not already told me-- play a role in my inability to move on because each time it seems to send me back to square one? Also does the fact that I just found out the REAL truth 7 months ago after he lied to me for 18 months prior prevent forward movement? Is it too soon after the real truth came out?

2. Is it possible that I am a person who will just never recover from the trauma of the infidelity? I have read that some people simply do not ever recover from it.

3. If I have not thoroughly grieved, as you mentioned in your article, what more can I do to grieve and work my way through it?

Since we have done EMSW, I have done Harboring Hope, and he is doing Hope for Healing, I don't know what else I can do. I am desperate, angry, sad, and can go from docile and mellow to crazy mad in a matter of seconds. Truthfully, I am getting scared that I won't ever be able to get past all of this. Can you help?



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