Q&A Can Marriages Survive Mismatched Personalities and Sexual Differences?

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Question: 

I found out about my husband’s affair about a year ago. But he continued his relationship with her for 6 more months. In February he seemed to let her go for good and wants to stay married. This is what you consider Category 2 affair in the Harboring Hope book. He was lacking an emotional connection with me and he found that connection somewhere else. He says our personalities are not matched well and their personalities were. He apparently likes girls that can be boyish (like he wants to be able to slap me on the butt REALLY hard or punch me in the arm or burp in my face). He says this is how he shows love, and I can’t stand it. I always get mad when he does this stuff. When we were dating, he wasn’t like that to me. But, his AP did like to be treated like a boy, because she grew up with brothers. He also said sex with her was better because she was more passionate and liked to be more aggressive and he wants me to be like that. I want to stay married because we have a 2 year old together and he wants to stay married because of his obligation to God. Can a marriage survive when two people are so mismatched in personalities AND sex interests? I feel like there is no hope for us to have a happy marriage. He doesn’t want to do counseling or the EMSO.

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