Q&A Do I Stand by My Husband When He Wants Revenge on the Affair Partner?

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Question: 

My betrayed husband wants revenge on my affair partner who was my biblical counsellor and mentor. He says that he must be held legally accountable for breaking his code of ethics. A few weeks after discovery he threatened to leave me if I did not join him in a lawsuit against the affair partner. I joined him but did not feel it was right. Five months later, I still do not agree but feel obligated to stand by my husband in this situation. My husband says that if I were to drop the lawsuit it would show that I am defending the affair partner. I disagree. With a deposition looming, where I will be questioned about the affair from the affair partner’s lawyer, I feel like this legal action is causing me to feel bitter towards my husband every time it is brought up. It is not helping our marriage and it is not helping me move on. However, my husband says it is very important for his healing. If he doesn't get the results that he wants from the lawsuit he will find other ways to satisfy his need for 'justice'. I don't know if it is my job to stand by my husband until his desire to exact revenge in satisfied. I don't know how long I can handle the weight of wondering when my husband will let it the desire for revenge go so that we can both move past it.

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