Q&A How Long Does My No-sex Agreement With My Unfaithful Wife Need to Last?

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It's exactly 6 weeks since d-day and one week since completing EMS weekend. Safety is returning and my wife is doing the work to rebuild and heal. I have not had physical intimacy in 2 years and 10 months. Her affair lasted almost 4 years and was regularly physical most of that time. I agreed at EMS to no sex for a time so she could heal from the past. As we heal I am torn. It's so painful to continue without after waiting so long. I am deeply grieved. It happened in our house which is a constant reminder even after praying over the spot. I can't ask her without risking our agreement and I have so little confidence to know what to do if it does happen. How much turmoil and time must I suffer without knowing my wife's touch and desire?



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More than a year later we still have no intimacy. Counseling has continued. She remains in the marriage but the wall is still up. There has been effort but not at the risk of pushing. Patience and understanding has been the rule. We've taken trips together. Dated regularly. My sexual frustration from all the years of her abuse and now sexual anorexia has taken its toll. I feel like before EMS weekend a year ago. I feel unloved, unwanted and out of options. What counsel can you provide?