Q&A Do People Really Get Past the Trauma and Triggers?

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Hi Rick, I am the unfaithful spouse and had I visited questionable masseuses over a period of 5 years. My wife discovered this in January 2015 and I came clean shortly thereafter. With support of our church and friends, we found EMS and attended in February 2015. We were able to work through the details and were equipped for the recovery process. I jumped in and worked on my issues that I brought into the marriage and got professional counsel. My wife and I had a really good post EMS period where we were connecting like never before and yes the physical intimacy was better than it had been in our 13+ year marriage. We understood that there would be cycles but we felt good about our recovery. We spent a lot of time as a family this past summer with several trips and made the best of the situation but my wife was "drowning" in her thoughts and inability to find time to grieve. I encouraged her to find support and do the post EMS workMy wife started to dig back into her bible, scheduled some time with a pastor at church, and set up a session with Leslie. I was feeling a bit hopeful about this since we had been "stuck" for more than 3 months. 2 weeks ago, after my wife's meeting with Leslie, she asked for a "trial" separation and I was to leave the house so that she can draw closer to God and stop the anxiety and trauma caused by me merely being involved in the daily activities at home. I basically was her trigger and it had reached a point where she needed some time away from me. I quickly packed and left. Since I am the trigger, my wife doesn't want me to approach her (outside of subjects associated with the kids) unless she initiates the discussion. From everything I have read and learned, it seems like my wife and I should be working on this together. What should I do?



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