Q&A Do Some Only Cheat While Drunk?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


Hi Rick, My husband cheated on me at least 7 times with one night stands while drunk. They were friends, coworkers and acquaintances, etc. who knew he was in a relationship. Often while drunk, he would message the women he had previously been with. He wouldn't write anything overtly sexual, but basically ask them to meet with him at a bar, or offer to go meet them. This was always late while drunk. Thankfully, none of these women responded to him, but just writing them is cheating in my book. He has been sober 6 months through AA, since the second D-Day. My husband claims if he hadn't been drunk, he never would have cheated and never would have continued sending follow up messages. He says he never would have been capable of cheating when sober. He says he never had compulsions to cheat when sober. He says that when drunk, he would get a "vibe" from a woman and then pursue it, but also claims that every woman he cheated with threw herself at him. He believes that 95% of the reason for his acting out is alcohol. Do you believe him? Have you ever heard of someone only cheating when drunk? I don't think he only cheated when drunk or that alcohol was the only factor, but an accelerant. I also don't believe that every woman threw herself at him. I think he was the pursuer and is just making excuses. What do you think?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas