Q&A How Can the Betrayed Make Sense from 30+ Years of Deceit?

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Question: 

My wife is the betrayed spouse. Now that she knows the truth about our 30+ year marriage, that for much of it I was a narcissist and a sex addict, she feels completely disconnected from her own past. Our long history is meaningless because she feels that it was lived with a false person. Now she feels there is nothing to build our relationship on, no meaningful past, and questions why she would stay with someone who hurt her so. I had three affairs and behaved inappropriately over most of our marriage. I have been in personal therapy for four years and have come to terms with my problems; we have been in couples counseling for almost a year and a half, we did Boot Camp and EMSO, and we are in Married for Life. D-Day was May 22, 2015. She is having a difficult time understanding her past, accepting what happened, what was real, what was not. How can she make sense of a past that strikes her as one big lie and is reconciliation possible?

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