Q&A How Can I Assure My Mate I'm Letting Go of My AP?

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I had an emotional affair with a married colleague for 6 months before my partner found out. After months of denial, I finally confessed my feelings for my AP and have been ambivalent about my primary relationship ever since. I last verbally spoke to my AP in April 2015, when I was meant to part ways with her, but ended up promising to be friends in the future after my feelings subside (which I now know was a mistake). Since then, I have been obsessed with her. I haven’t communicated with her, but she did a text in August, and I have bumped into her at work several times. Although I avoid her and I do not respond, I am still head over heels with each encounter, I still desire her presence and I still feel the resistance in my heart whenever I reflect upon letting her go. Although I feel that the intensity of my feelings and obsession towards my AP has slightly reduced, my primary partner feels that I am taking too long. Due to the severed trust between us, my primary partner demands to know everything I think about my AP, and so she can tell that there is a part of me that is still holding on to the AP. Can you give me tips for how I can speed up the process of letting go of my AP, and at the same time give my primary partner the assurance that I am working on it?



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