Q&A How can I Change my Negative Thoughts Before Launching into Anger?

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Question: 

Hi Rick, I am 6 months post D-day. My husband had 2 affairs over a 5 month period of time (this had not ever occurred before this in our 18 years of marriage). One of the affairs lasted the whole five months and the second was a short lived 2 week fling. He ended this second one quickly as he could tell she was becoming attached and he wasn't looking for emotional attachment. He did not have feelings for either woman and it was a rock bottom moment for him when I found out and instantly ended the affair and has not spoken to her since a text to end it. He has made changes in all areas of his life (spiritual, mental, emotional), is very remorseful, does not make justifications and is working to figure out what caused this. We are in individual and marital counseling (which has been incredibly helpful). My question is this....with all these 'right' things happening and his ardent devotion to me now I am still locked in cycles of anger and rage. I feel discarded and disrespected and despite the fact that I am none of those things now the pain is at times too intense to bear. Am I stuck? What do I do to get out of these negative feelings launching me into anger? How do I reconcile a man that could so easily "go crazy" and the man he is today who wants to do anything/everything for us? Is there a good next step for us?

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