Q&A How Can I Heal in This Situation?

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Question: 

I am having trouble with this recovery process. I am the betrayed spouse. We have complete EMS Online and both of us have completed the individual courses. My spouse had a 6 year affair with a family friend. He has told me the actual sexual part was short. My problem is, he cannot remember when the encounters happened. He cannot give me a date, or even a valid month range. The affair happened possibly summer 2008. I am having a hard time dealing with not knowing how this or where this fits into my life. I cannot understand how he could not have any reference point of any marked thing that could give an answer. This adds even more hurt to an already overwhelming painful situation. I don’t know how to move forward without putting these pieces together. It also makes me doubt how he could be telling the truth in other questions I’ve asked and details he has given. Does he even remember all the correct information? It also makes every question I have hard to ask because I fear the “I don’t know” answer. If he has blocked it out of his memory is that a good thing or a bad thing? How do you forgive what you don’t know? It feels like such a hard process to forgive what he has forgotten. And there is the fear that if/when he remembers he may not tell me or I will be traumatized again.

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