Q&A Should I Apologize to my Spouse's Family for my Affair?

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Question: 

Rick,

As we approach the holiday season, we will be facing incredible pressure from family. Pressure to spend time with them and possibly take time away from our own healing and recovery. As an unfaithful spouse whose mate's parents know of my infidelity, what suggestions do you have to make amends with the betrayed's family? Previous counselors have suggested they are not "owed" anything. Conversations between my mate and their parents suggests otherwise. They feel like they need an apology or restitution of some sorts. I understand the hurt and pain they must be feeling for my mate. I understand as a parent myself the devastation of my actions and how I might feel in their situation. Is a letter of apology an appropriate starting point for reconciliation with the betrayed's family? Is it worth the effort or does it possibly risk worsening the situation?

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