Q&A (HFH) Am I a Sex Addict?

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Question: 

I love my wife and kids very much, and the affair partner meant nothing to me. But I wouldn't stop the affair. I hate everything I was and desperately long to change. Please how do I heal and never fall back into this trap.

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Perfect

As usual Rick, your advice and counsel helped me through a rough patch today. My husband of nearly 35 years has come to acknowledge that he is a sex addict/cyber sex and had it not been for the EMS on line course and many of the other resources your site has provided I don't think we'd be married. He would not admit to his disease until the disaster of his actions exploded in our lives and he was able to admit that the behaviors he chose were not only addictive but revealed a pain that he had never dealt with properly. He is in a 12 step program that meets weekly and though it's tough to put my head around this as he kept his world hidden from me for decades, I do embrace his desire for healing and seeking professional help. Sadly, due to the SA behaviors, he ended up in an emotional affair that proved to be very difficult for him to quit after discovery. Due to the the reoccurring patterns or actions he had taken to feed the endorphin "high" he received from his contacts with other women, one particular AP fed the need for an emotional connection and he loved the feeling of being "wanted" and "pursued". Obviously, as the BS, my debilitating pain nearly killed me, and since it's been only 4 months since DD #2. I am far from healed. But this video does help me realize that my support is important as my husband processes his behaviors. What started out as a "harmless" happy ending at a massage parlor, that meant nothing to him other than a temporary relief of pain or stress turned into a 14 year quest to replicate that "feeling " of relief and euphoria that he experienced so may years ago. Sadly, the ante rose every time he went back to the "well" which led to more acting out and riskier behaviors. Wake me up from this nightmare, please...but I do believe that God has a plan for me/us. I also know that no matter what I will survive and be stronger because of this!

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