Q&A How can I Pretend to be Happy When I'm Not?

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My husband returned to me after an 18 month affair, several D-Days and relapses along the way. This time he said he had finally made a decision and chosen me. Now, after just 3 months, he is beginning to show all the typical signs of an unfaithful bully. He is angry at me for still wanting to talk, he says that he feels suppressed, that he cannot be who he wants to be because I am still unhappy a lot of the time. He says he doesn't want to hang around if things don't improve. He says now that he has chosen me, I need to get on with my life, start enjoying life and start loving him again. He says he won't wait around for someone that can't love him. He clearly has another option as his AP is waiting for him to relapse yet again.

I know all of this is wrong, I have read all the articles! But I can't get him to see what he is doing. He is forcing me to heal before I am ready, but the option he is giving me is that he will leave if I can't get over this. Do I live a "pretend normal" which will be great for him, but will leave me forever in pain, and resentful at him? I don't want him to leave us, but I don't see that I can pretend to be happy all the time when I am not!



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