Q&A How Can I Safely Break off Contact Between Our Kids and the Affair Partner?

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Question: 

My husband had an affair with the wife of one of our close friends. He has broken things off with her but she does not know that I am aware of the Affair. (I couldn't deal with humiliation). Her husband does not know either. I kept it a secret mainly to protect my kids. Our families are very close and my kids are really attached to her they see her as a cool "aunt" Who is a confidant. It bothers me that my kids are close to her but how do I break off their contact with her without telling them everything. I am afraid if the affair gets out her husband may become violent and also we would be humiliated in our community. Should I or my husband tell her that I am aware of the Affair and ask her to stay away from our kids? Our kids are teenagers and 2 in college so they may still decide to stay in contact with her if they don't know what is going on. What should I do? It tears me up when my kids connect with her. I think she is using them to stay close to my husband.

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