Q&A How Can I 'Want' to Stay Away From Someone I Love?

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I cannot stop the feelings of love and concern that I have for my affair partner. We have not communicated in months or seen each other in over a year, but I still feel as strongly for him as I did during our affair. I know in my head that I'm supposed to stay married to my husband (who has also been unfaithful), and I want what is best for my children, but I cannot shake the feeling that I am missing my opportunity for happiness by not ending my marriage. The love that I feel for my affair partner is very strong, and the triggers and memories are so frequent that I know it is acting as a road block to any healing for my marriage. But I just don't know how to control it. Everything about my relationship with my affair partner was good. I don't look back and see any bad. Which makes it so much more difficult to want to stay away from my affair partner. How can I move forward? How can I "want" to stay away from someone I love?



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