Q&A How Can We Reconnect While Living Apart?

I am requesting suggestions for reconnecting when we live in separate states for work. I asked for separation in 2014 when I found my spouse was unfaithful. His job took him to the new state 6 months later and the children and I did not follow- he'd made NO attempts at reconciliation at that point preferring instead to avoid me like the plague, I'd started a new job that I did not want to leave because I didn't feel secure depending on him and it was the middle of the academic year for the children. He visits every 1-3 weeks for 2-4 days and 2 weeks of vacation time annually. After the most recent affair, I don't trust him at all and can't stand the thought of him living in the space where he cheated on and betrayed me, yet, I don't want him in my space, either. We are emotionally disconnected and I'm scared to be with him but I know that in order to rebuild trust at some point in the future will require a higher level of emotional connectedness outside of the pain and trauma that I feel. I've started counseling to help me through this ordeal but do not know how to connect with the stranger that I'm married to when all that I want to do is scream at him. 1st D-Day for this latest affair was Oct 2018, second Nov 2018