Q&A How Do I Combat My Feelings toward the Unremorseful Affair Partner?

Hi Rick, I’m embarrassed to admit; my husband and I are both the betrayers in our love story. Mine was first with a guy I knew from college. Chris and I are childhood sweethearts, having been together since I was 14 he was 15, married at 20. My affair was VERY superficial on my end. Pure escapism and nothing else. My biggest regret. We are truly poster children for why recovery work is so pivotal! No matter how hard or embarrassing it feels, sweeping it under the rug is a recipe for disaster later. 6 years later he chose to have a 4 month affair with his co-worker while wrapping up work in D.C. The fact that we have both been in each other’s shoes has actually been healing as our reasoning and views of our AP’s are virtually identical. An analogy we toss around frequently: “they were the needle not the drug.” Still I’m REALLY struggling with being like Jonah on the hill waiting for God to exact punishment on her! I know that makes me hypocritical. I’ve also developed a bad habit of occasionally looking her up on Facebook - sure enough there she is traveling, still wearing her fake mask while going on missions trips and seemingly living life as if nothing happened. She’s been acting as if she’s the victim of a ‘bad break up’ with my husband! Help me combat these feelings of her being so unremorseful. Do all unmarried AP’s get away with murder?