Q&A How Do I Compete with the Affair Partner?

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Question: 

My husband has continually justified his affair stating that he had asked me for help regarding stress/depression medication and I blatantly told him No...which I did at the time...I thought the medication was helping him tremendously and that he needed it. That ended the conversation. Fast forward 16 months past D-Day and husband still in the affair, but the conversation has reopened about why he has sought out this adulterous relationship. He has told me was a broken man, he felt the medications were killing him and that I didn't care at all. These conversations shed so much more light than the way he asked for help before affair. I am so sad that I didn't see his cry for help and if we had had a more detailed talk back then I think we could be in a much different place, but we are not. I believe he looks at his AP as the one who saved him. She listened and did whatever he needed, he said he suffered so much. He will not even acknowledge the pain he has inflicted on me and maybe he likes that I am suffering because he believes I contributed to his brokenness. He says I was supposed to be his safe place and I was not. They also work together and he believes her to be an intergalactic part of the business, he said there is no way he could fire her, the consequences would be too great financially. How do I compete with what he perceives as the person who saved him and his business? Until she is no longer at the company or in his life how do I move forward?

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