Q&A How Do I Deal with My Unfaithful Spouse’s Inability to Self-Reflect?

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We are currently working to recover from my husband's infidelity. One of the most important things that I need in order to move forward is to have an understanding of the events & triggers that led him to do what he did but more importantly the mental and emotional processes that not only fueled his desire to be unfaithful but that allowed him to justify his actions for so long. But anytime I try to discuss these things with him he says he doesn't know or doesn't have the time or energy to invest in reflecting on those things. He gives very broad, general answers such as " I was struggling" or "I felt insecure". But I want to know his reasons, motivations & intentions. I don't expect an exact account, I simply want to know that he is willing to self-reflect and explore it with me. If he is unable to be introspective & explore the ways he thinks & feels, how can I ever feel safe with him? or trust that he won't slip back into the same toxic patterns that got us here?



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