Q&A How Do I Get beyond This?

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We are near the end of EMS Online, we just finished the relapse prevention week. The first D-Day was nine months ago and the second 6 months ago. He continued the affair one more month after I first found out and only broke up with her because I found out he was still with her. The whole break up process was controlled by me. At first he agreed that they needed to break up but later he was still checking on her. I have shown him resources on the website and he listened to them after extensive pleading. This is creating a lot of frustration and resentments. His affair partner, who works with him, is still trying to contact him but he only responds in a work related manner. I wish he would push her away, in a polite way. This makes me feel like he still has some sort of feelings for her and is not willing to burn out the bridge forever. I have the problem with the physical intimacy. From the 4 types I am the first one I have the desire but at some point everything falls apart. I must admit, it has improved since the last D-Day. At first I will feel the need to cry during and now I feel this need after. He is working through his issues, our communication has improved. I know I have to work on things too but I don't even realize what is going on. Why everything is falling apart? Why can't just enjoy? Why do I need to cry? What can I do to get beyond this?



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