Q&A How Do I Handle My Anxiety as My Wife Learns How to Share?

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Question: 

My wife is in therapy and is learning that her avoidance was a key factor that have slowly caused us to drift apart. She is accepting responsibility for her part in the 'cycle of failure' and I feel that we are gaining some positive momentum in our recovery. What happens is that when we are having rational conversations she now makes an effort to let all her thoughts and emotions be fully known. Armed with her new honesty and courage she mostly chooses to communicate on how bad she felt in our marriage or how good her affairs made her feel. Even though I am encouraged by her and our progress and am proud of her I also feel that by saying all these things she tries to rationalize her betrayal and minimize what she has done. Consequently, after every conversation my anxiety and pain are all spiking up for several days. I am trying to take responsibility for my part in the failure of our marriage. I also want our relationship to be a safe place for her to share her internal world and be honest. However, I feel that her sharing lacks empathy, understanding or remorse and causes me a great deal of pain. What should we do?

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