How does a wayward spouse get past the emotional abuse of being called fat or other comments? There has also been past sexual withdrawal to punish me for not meeting weight goals. This lead to me lying about my diet and weight and started a worse relationship with my self image than i had ever had. My BH has always talked about my weight even when I was not very much over weight. He also liked to mention how attractive he found most his other partners. He has always talked about or made fun of my workouts and has always monitored my food and gave me dirty looks when I get stuff he doesn't think I should even around other people. Now when he's angry and not angry he does the same but when he's angry he always throws out the fat comments. What has always occurred has now turned into him saying in order for me to show dedication to his recovery I must tell him my food intake and my workout daily. I have always had issues with my weight and have struggled with eating disorders. How can this "accountability" he wants be helpful to us. If I fail he rubs it in my face and says I want to stay fat, or no wonder I have only lost 30 lbs in a year. I think it's a cry out for help but for me it's always been a part of the relationship so i feel very resentful which in turn makes me not want to lean into his pain.