Q&A How Do We Differentiate between What Secrets Are Safe to Keep and Which Should Be Shared?

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Question: 

My husband and I are wrestling with the following scenario; He mentioned several months ago he has a friend who has an open marriage. Each of the spouses has another who they have an intimate physical relationship with. This friend has asked my husband not to share who they are with me for fear of being judged. I see this as a secret preventing my husband from being truly intimate with me, as we learned in EMS Online that infidelity is the keeping of secrets. It also brings back the familiarity of his long term affair with countless lies and secrets. He disagrees. Am I expecting too much to have no secrets in our marriage? If so, how do we differentiate between what secrets are safe to keep and which should be shared? I'm not too concerned about who the friend is, but more that he is still keeping secrets. How many others are there? Could this be a stepping stone for relapse in his infidelity? How can i trust him if this is the precedence of our marriage?

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