Rick, Since I discovered my husband’s affair 16 months ago, unfortunately he has done 17 of the "20 Most Common Mistakes the Unfaithful Makes". He even was shown the list 8 months earlier in an effort to help him understand the concept of at least not causing any more harm. Although he currently seems clearly and consistently out of the FOG, I don't think he can recognize or deal with the fact that he made a horrible situation so much more damaging and harmful. I am numb to his efforts at this point and feel void of any attachment. We have been married almost 23 years, with both of us agreeing to a strong foundation for most of those years. He rewrote our marital history only during his affair. How do I deal with not only the way he failed after discovery, but my detachment from him now?