Why does my husband continue to claim he does not remember big details about his 8 month affair, change his story a lot on details, get very defensive when I ask questions and not want to do anything to prove his innocence about his claim of not having sex with his affair partner? He claims they had the opportunity but never made the time to do it. That does not make sense to me. I stay calm when I ask, but he gets very defensive or shuts down. He also smirks or grins when I talk about his affair partner. He has lied so much, how can I ever feel safe with him again? She had twins 3 days after we had our son. If he slept with her, they could be his.