Q&A How Do We Handle My Husband's Newfound, Seemingly Irresistible, Fetish?

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Question: 

How do we handle my husband's newfound, seemingly irresistible, fetish for Asian women? I am not Asian, and obviously never will be. I see no way to get around such a fetish, which he seems insistent on indulging with Asian porn use despite knowing that I find it absolutely horrific given everything he has done. He is constantly reliving his affair while watching Asian pornography. It is very hard for me to manage every day. I also have no reason to believe he is not still secretly in contact with his Asian affair partner, as he "broke it off" in a private phone call so that I would have no way of knowing what was actually said. He has since told me he wants an open marriage; of course, my marriage has already been involuntarily opened. We are no longer intimate in any way, since I found out that his affair was sexual, 3 months after my child's birth. I don't see how I could possibly try to restore intimacy, knowing that his fetish is not remotely related to me, anyway. I cannot condone his continued pursuit of and preference for Asian women. I just don't see a way around this. His remorse over his affair has always been very brief, sporadic, and drowned out by claims that he is the real victim here. He has endless resentments for our previous "married problems". We have been together for 13 years now.

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