Q&A How Do We Navigate Seeing the Emotional Part of the Affair Differently?

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My husband was unfaithful through four sexual encounters with one woman. But the conversations leading up to the sexual encounters he says were nothing. When I read the little I have to see, it seems like more than nothing. He ended the affair and within a month started a friendship with another woman that lasted a little over a year and that I never knew about. He also says this friendship was wrong simply because I didn’t know, but it wasn’t an emotional affair. They talked about spiritual things, the difficulties she was having in her life, he asked her to pray for our marriage, they sent pictures and joked. To me this looks like a rebound. He didn’t want the sexual part with the other woman, but still wanted the emotional/affirmation part, so he found it in another relationship. When I found out about the friendship he angrily ended it, but then said he wanted to kill himself. He left the house and in his emotional state, he texted her to apologize about the mess. We are four months out from the last D-day, and he is just finishing Hope for Healing. He says he was seeking affirmation, but the emotional part with both women was nothing, I feel like it was definitely something. How do we navigate this?



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