Q&A How Do We Stop All-Or-Nothing Thinking?

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Question: 

We are a few months into our recovery and healing and set to attend the next virtual EMS Weekend. How do I, as the wayward spouse, who acted out with pornography for years and all of our marriage, deal with the feeling that boils up inside when my wife says, "Everything is ruined. It was all a lie. Nothing was real"? I know there were many times when I wasn't "100% there" mentally, but in my mind I so much loved our times and can't see decades as wasted (and especially the words of "all" "everything", "never", "nothing, etc.) Perhaps, she is thinking it was wasted as she could of been doing something else?

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