Q&A If He Had the Affair, Why Do I Feel Like the 'Bad Guy'?

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Question: 

The communications was mostly I love you, you are my soulmate, I don't need my wife, why aren't we together, you were the one who got away, the one I will never stop loving, my heart will be yours forever, everything was gray before but now my world is alive and in color, you are beautiful, wonderful, amazing, perfect... months of this romance and soul-connection before discovery. The pattern for the last year has been that after a while of radio silence after discovery, he seeks her out and starts communication up again. Perhaps less "affair-worded" communication, but still, communication like our friendship is so unique and special, we shouldn't have to give each other up, we will always care for each other, no one knows me like you do, I will always worry about you. I know that if he could have her be a part of his future, he would choose that. That my pain and jealousy are the only barriers from their continued friendship and that twists me up inside. Makes me feel like somehow I am the bad guy for depriving my husband of this special friendship he obviously values so much. I hate feeling like the bad guy! Why do I feel like the bad guy?

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