Q&A If He Had the Affair, Why Do I Feel Like the 'Bad Guy'?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


The communications was mostly I love you, you are my soulmate, I don't need my wife, why aren't we together, you were the one who got away, the one I will never stop loving, my heart will be yours forever, everything was gray before but now my world is alive and in color, you are beautiful, wonderful, amazing, perfect... months of this romance and soul-connection before discovery. The pattern for the last year has been that after a while of radio silence after discovery, he seeks her out and starts communication up again. Perhaps less "affair-worded" communication, but still, communication like our friendship is so unique and special, we shouldn't have to give each other up, we will always care for each other, no one knows me like you do, I will always worry about you. I know that if he could have her be a part of his future, he would choose that. That my pain and jealousy are the only barriers from their continued friendship and that twists me up inside. Makes me feel like somehow I am the bad guy for depriving my husband of this special friendship he obviously values so much. I hate feeling like the bad guy! Why do I feel like the bad guy?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas