Q&A Is it Possible to be Mean to Someone you Love?

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Dear Rick,

My husband had an affair that lasted a year and a half. During that time his behavior towards our children and me became more disrespectful and mean. Before the affair he was a loving husband and father. His affair stemmed from a sexual compulsion / addiction. He has a history of acting out in the past. When he acted out before his behavior was aloof and distant but never mean as it was during his affair. At D Day he immediately cut off contact with his AP and seemed to have no problem letting her go.

He is back to his usual loving self and he claims he never stopped loving me. Is it possible he still loved me during the affair even though he acted so cruelly? Can you elaborate?

He told me he felt terrible guilt during the affair and his AP confirmed that.

He is working with a psychotherapist that specializes in addiction and men’s issues and has found a support group that he is attending.



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