Q&A Is It Possible for Him to Rebuild Real Empathy and Actually Care about Me Again?

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We are three months out from D-Day and just finished Week 6 of EMS Online; we are also seeing a marriage counselor and individual therapists. My husband had three affairs over the past two years, culminating in a year-long emotional and sexual affair. He cut off contact with the latest affair partner on D-Day. Since then he says that he wants to rebuild our marriage. He says that intellectually he knows that his affairs were wrong, but he doesn't feel remorse or contrition. He says that he is choosing to love me through his actions, but he is struggling to actually care about me or like me. He acknowledges that his list of costs for me in the empathy exercise was an intellectual exercise and he mostly feels numb. Is it possible for him to rebuild real empathy and actually care about me again? What sort of timeline should I expect for this? Our marriage counselor has brought up the option of a healing separation to help with individual growth, but we have three small children at home.



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