Q&A Should I Tell the Affair Partner about an STD?

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Question: 

I have realized that I contracted an STD from my husband’s previous affair partner. My question is, should I tell his most current AP that she should be checked as this was contracted before her? She deserves to know, and I want to do the right thing. On the other hand, she has gotten tested - though I don't know the results. Does she need to know the particular positives or should I leave well enough alone? My husband has already gaslighted me messaging her (not him), but now I don't want to stir the pot.

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Positive STD

I have positive STD’s because of my UH’s affairs. When I have a flare up, I suffer with the trauma, pain and shame of his carelessness and total disregard for my health and my life. I’ve already had two precancerous surgeries because of this. How do I let go of the reminders of his lies and deception when I am the one who suffers from dealing with this when I have a flare?