My biggest struggle in this recovery has been what seems to be his inability to see his affair as negative as I think he should. He's been able to list and tell me negative parts, feelings and experiences during the affair on his own. But anytime I ask a question, bring it up or ask for a comparison he goes to the positives of the affair. He then says he wasn't thinking of it until I brought it up. Is he just being defensive? Is he just trying to distract from the pain he's caused me but justifying it by only seeing it as "good"? Is the stress of me asking him or bringing it up giving him into fight or flight and resulting in him having to resort to the euphoric feelings of the affair to hide the pain or stress of it? I need these answers so I can stop comparing myself and feeling like I can't compete. I don't feel safe feeling that he still has any positive feelings. Positive feelings seems like he would be more likely to relapse.