Q&A What Keeps My Betrayed Spouse from Acknowledging Her Lack of Safety in Our Relationship?

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When my betrayed spouse floods with anger; she says a whole lot of exaggerated comments, put downs, name calling, goes very historical, hopeless all or nothing, and focuses on the nothing. If I try to pull her out of what she is doing she gets worse. I don't like my chances of attempting to get an acknowledgement from her in the future. Is it important for her to acknowledge these things and or make an apology? We have struggled with this many times previous to the affair. She says I need to be able to hold space for all of this without feeling victimized. She also says she couldn't give a damn about me being upset because what I've done is so much greater. This is a very hard place to be in, I feel very stuck.



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