Q&A When Is Enough Enough?

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My wife and I spent the whole of 2018 with me discovering her emotional affair, forgiving her and trying to heal only for it to happen again. This came to a head in October with her nearly leaving until he called it off. I told her this was it and EMSO was her last chance before I kicked her out. Things went well through the course and over December we bonded really well and I began to see hope. I have just found out and confronted her in discovering she is still actively pursuing her AP. I told her that short of something life changing in her I would need to separate for a while as I no longer feel safe. She spent the next couple of days coming up with a list of increased accountability and openness as well as trying to have a stronger support base and writing a message with me to send to the AP to call it off. I've allowed her to stay but am still feeling very torn - she has started some of her list but has yet to commit to all of it despite some clear opportunities to do so. I also feel weak for not sticking to what I said before EMSO and wondering if I am setting her up to feel she can continue to walk all over me or just relapse again once the need outweighs the guilt. On the other hand God has called me to forgive, she is constantly asking what she can do for me, trying to be loving, and I am scared on how much this will hurt our children. Should I follow through on my earlier words, forgive her or see how things go for now?



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