Q&A Am I over Acting or Asking for Too Much?

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Question: 

I have found out my husband has lied to family, some of his friends, and a counselor about me. Over the last year my husband has denied numerous times that he has lied to anyone about me. Two weeks ago a letter was found that my husband wrote to our family counselor behind my back. The letter was complete slander. He even lied about our children in the letter to use against me. He tried to convince our 20 year old son that what he had written about him was true. Our son was upset his father would use him to devalue me. After a week of him trying to ignore his responsibility for all the hurtful lies, my husband blew up and said it didn’t matter if we didn’t agree with him. He even told me that he was fine being in a marriage were we can disagree about how we choose to remember past events. After my husband devastated me with his infidelity, trickling truth over 8 months...now this letter. He finally said he was sorry about the letter but I feel he should contact the counselor and tell the truth. He doesn’t. Said it has nothing to do about now, the letter was written 6 months ago and he already said he was sorry. I don’t feel like he understands that all the slander he has said about me affects my safety with him. I can’t see how to “work” on a marriage I have no safety in.

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