Q&A Where is the True Empathy?

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Question: 

We are 13 months out from the 2nd D-day. My husband is a sex addict who acted out for 28 of our 37 yr. marriage, including porn, masturbation and over 80 prostitutes. Over the past year we have done 2 EMS weekends, counseling and I have had EMDR. My husband is doing well, a changed man - he tells me he is sorry for what he did and the horrible pain he caused me, and that he loves me very much. However, I still have triggers and horrific intrusive thoughts that are preventing me from being close to him. When I try to talk to him about my thoughts, he gets cold and tells me that we know what he did, and he gets angry with me for bringing it up. I remind him it takes 18 to 24 months to even begin to heal; he claims he is being patient but he isn’t - he makes me feel like the bad guy for bringing it up. As long as I am loving and not triggered, we are fine, but if I get triggered he is a cold and heartless person to me. So, I have stopped trying to talk with him. What should I do? I feel like I want to stay married, but his lack of true empathy when I really need it has me retreating from him and the marriage. Thank you for all your help, you and everyone at Affair Recovery have helped us so much.

Rick's suggested resources:

Worthy of Her Trust, available in Kindle

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