Q&A Who Am I to Get Triggered When She's the One Who Was Betrayed?

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6 months ago, I disclosed my relapse of pornography use. It’s been very difficult for her but she has extended so much grace just by still being here. About 2 months ago she got rid of every marriage and family photo around the house, then later took off her ring as well because it was a trigger. She had to make peace with not having a better past and this was her way of expressing it. When she told me about the ring, she also mentioned how very easy it would be to have a revenge affair because there’s not a lack of opportunity where she works. Now, every time she goes to work, I remember that conversation and get very scared as she has no ring on… It’s really triggering just thinking about it. Though she’s not that sort of person, MY behavior has shown me sides of her I never knew existed. Who am I to get triggered when she’s the one who was betrayed? This issue and more have been bothering me a lot… I have vowed to be 100% authentic and honest with her about everything but how do I deal with this fear yet remain authentic while putting my own personal struggles and feelings aside to help her heal. Every time I mention something in the spirit of authenticity, I feel selfish and self-centered.



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