A common concern I hear from many other betrayed wives is that their unfaithful husbands can be so romantic with words and deeds with their AP's. I have also experienced the same thing. My husband revealed a playful, flirtatious, romantic side of himself with his AP that I've never experienced in over 30 years of marriage but would have liked to. He wasn't even like that when we were dating. He was also very flattering, encouraging, comforting and supportive toward her. Much more so than he ever was with me. It's heartbreaking to know your spouse exhibited these qualities toward someone else. I have always tried to be the flirtatious one with him but never got much of a response so I finally gave up after many years. We are in recovery now doing EMSO and he's very committed but sad to say there's no sign of this type of behavior towards me. Why is it that the unfaithful can reveal this part of themselves to another woman but not to their own wives? Thanks.