As the hurt spouse this was helpful for me, not sure I should share it with my spouse as it has been 2yr 9 mo since ground zero.  I am now 66 and sometimes feel that my life was a total waste as my dreams are gone and I do very little of value or that I had hoped to do at 66.  I don't know if he will stray again.  I don't know if he accepts that he needs to stay out of harms way.  It would help me to know his thoughts but he is always willing to talk when I need to but doesn't really talk about where he.  He says what you noted in the article, that it will never happen again and I believe he means that but not sure if he were in the "ivy" he would avoid it or not.

He stays very close to me almost 24/7 which is not always comfortable for me but that may be how he is avoiding temptation.  In my past life I enjoyed doing things, voluntering for worthwhile things etc.  But that does not as of today seem to be open to me.  It may be my preception but it feels that way to me. 

Your article is on target and gives me some insight into myself and into my spouse.  Thank you