I would think that it would be very important to seek a second opinion on something as important as your marriage; I would not trust the thoughts of one person. What do others who know the both of you say? Do you have a pastor who could honestly speak into your life? Is your husband open to change? More importantly, what do YOU think?
I can tell you that my husband and I have had many more good years than bad in our 27 year marriage. When the infidelity issue came about we had been married 22 years. I realize now that there were “parts” of my husband’s emotional intelligence that had been damaged from childhood (but I can honestly say that my emotional intelligence needed tweaking too). Together we are tackling those parts of ourselves that don’t always respond selflessly to the other. I could not dismiss him as “emotionally immature” because of our past history that proves otherwise. Yes, he was really stupid with the affairs, something he readily admits; he got lost and lacked the wisdom to disentangle himself from the behaviors. Thankfully we are all teachable!